Is it worth moving for love? Should I move to a new city for my boyfriend? The questions only you can answer. Moving for love is one of the nicest reasons to relocate to another city, country, or even continent. However, before deciding to undertake that serious step, and be sure that moving for a relationship is exactly that, it would be better to understand if you’re ready for it. Answering these difficult but revealing questions will definitely help you determine whether it is worth changing your whole life and are you and your partner ready to live together.
Should You Move for a Relationship?
Relocating for love sounds romantic. However, some issues may negatively affect this fairytale-like story. For that reason, you should thoroughly contemplate all realistic reasons that might influence any of the partners to change its mind.
According to the Home.com survey, which was supposed to reveal what happens after moving across the country for love, 57% of couples are actually satisfied with their decision and ready to continue their story. The report also revealed that one in five people relocated for love, most commonly because their partner lived in another city or since one or both of them found a job in another city and state. But what happened to the other 43%? Here is the list of reasons that affected their decision to say the move wasn’t worth it:
- 18% said that relocation failed to save their romance,
- 17% disliked their new location,
- 11% fell for someone else.
So, what we could conclude from these shared experiences is that the majority of them relocated and weren’t ready or didn’t take into consideration all the possible factors that could affect their tie.
Hence, if you start to ask yourself how that 57% of couples succeeded, take a look at our list of most important questions to answer before relocating for a significant other.
How Long Should You Be in a Relationship Before Moving in for Love?
It is the very first question every couple asks when it comes to shacking up together. This question is actually associated with the feeling of readiness. Yet, you have to keep in mind that long-distance affairs just have a different timeline compared to those who don’t lack a physical presence and time.
Remember all of the romantic and creative ideas for long-distance Valentine’s day? Or traveling every weekend to see your darling? See, the success of a long-distance relationship depends on the dedication of both partners. In various cases, some long-distance relationships are better than the “regular” ones. It might be because long-distance partners more appreciate the limited time or try harder to attain all those special moments. Either way, the right moment for shacking up together should not be defined by how long you are in a romance, but whether you both feel ready or not. This is the only correct answer to this question.
What Are Your Prospects in the New City or State You’re Relocating to?
Relocating to a different town or even to another state for a relationship raises many other questions. Let’s take a look at them.
Do You Actually Like the New City You’re Relocating to?
Remember that 17% of people who stated that their relationships fell apart because they disliked the location? Well then, this could be a good starting point for you to consider whether the place you’re up to relocate to is suitable for your needs. Explore the cultural peculiarities and social life in that particular area. Check the location of the property you’ll move in and will you live closer to the town center. If not, research what you should expect when relocating to the suburbs. The criteria you should take into consideration when choosing what is the best place to live are:
- Employment perspectives,
- Quality of life,
- Migration eligibility.
Although your feelings are strong, the lack of prospects may influence your adjustment and consequently the quality of your relationship with the partner, too. Suppose you estimate that the area is not appropriate for fulfilling your plans. In that case, it will help to talk to your significant other and see if you could find some other solution, like relocating to some other destination where both of you have equal chances for growth.
What are the Job Prospects in a New Area?
No matter where you will live together, financial independence is something you should try to retain. Before relocating to another state, explore what the job market is like and is there space for you to attain your dream career. Many cities have great conditions for young professionals. Hence checking business climate and targeting all the companies you would like to work for is only the first step in a job search. There is no certain answer to the question of when to start applying for jobs before relocation. However, the sooner you start, the better work opportunities you may find.
Can Your Joint Budget Sustain It?
Living together implies responsibility. Prior to determining whether to start a life together, speak to your significant other and make a budget plan that will contain all expenses, student loans, and if one of you still hasn’t found a job, it would be nice to plan for how long one of the partners can cover the costs for both.
Will I Be Able to Adjust To the Environment and Make New Friends?
Relocation means changing your life in every aspect. You’re leaving your home, family, friends, job, literally everything you have. Relocation often provokes the feeling of nostalgia, so adjusting to different surroundings might be even more challenging.
Still, relocation to another state doesn’t necessarily mean you will cut all ties with your family and friends. There are hundreds of ways to keep in touch with friends. From a simple call whenever you feel lonely to making plans to visit you in your new home. There is no reason why long-distance friendships wouldn’t survive!
Yet, making new friends in a new state will certainly make it easier for you to assimilate into environments. Fitting into a community helps people feel accepted, and there are multiple ways you could build everlasting friendships. When you feel ready to meet local people, signing up for hiking lessons, joining the choir, or volunteering in local charity organizations are good starting points. Also, meeting your new neighbors is a great way to start networking and become a part of the local community.
How to Know if You’re Not Ready for Moving for Love and Long-Distance Relationship?
According to therapists, there are four major reasons why partners might not be ready to live together. Some of the reasons are wrong beliefs or huge expectations, while others are strictly personal. Here is what you need to know while determining for this big move.
Partners Believe That Living Together Will Solve Their Relationships Problems.
Suppose your communication was poor, or your significant other didn’t do anything to keep in touch with you. In that case, living together doesn’t necessarily mean it will solve any of your relationship’s problems. On the contrary, being closer and sharing more time can raise your disagreements and leave you disappointed.
Your Partner Didn’t Ask You to Start Life Together
If your beloved doesn’t raise this topic or encourage you to start to move in together, it is usually a sign that you should not push this wish either. A romance is a matter of togetherness, and one-sided wishes usually lead to the undesired direction.
Different Visions of Future
An honest conversation about visions of the future may reveal expectations from particular relationships. Those conversations often raise topics on marriage, children, lifestyle, and much more. If you notice that your significant other has totally different opinions on this essential question, then think about if it is the right person for you.
However, as therapists advise, don’t move if you only want to get engaged or married. Living with your partner is much more than status, and if it’s not based on honest intentions, it is better not to start it.
One of the Partners is Not Ready to Live Far from Their Family
Moving to another state for a relationship implies being far from a family, which is not necessarily bad, but this is just not acceptable for some people. Whatever the reason is, you should respect your partners’ decision and try to adjust to it somehow or decide on your relationship’s future.
Is it Worth Moving for Love?
If you’re interested in others’ experiences, how long it took until they organized everything, how they endured being away from family and their hometown, and how they adjust to the entirely new environment, then check this useful video below.
How To Move in Together Seamlessly?
The first thing you should consider with your beloved is what do you need to rent an apartment. Second, create a list of all needed things to be done before relocating, and create a checklist of all the things you have to move to another place. Since it will be a long-distance moving, possibly from one coast to another, you should also consider the ways to move out of state cheaply.
After you create your lists, the next step is organizing the relocation itself. Find a trustworthy long-distance moving company, schedule the relocation date, and list all long-distance moving services you will possibly need. This is important to note to the long-distance moving experts, especially if you need some more complex assistance such as door-to-door auto-shipping or packing services that need to be organized in advance (like relocating piano, for example). And if you feel like you need some additional support, then checking relocation apps may give you some fresh ideas.
Packing is a process itself, so try to take with you only necessary items. Before you start to pack, explore where to donate unwanted items, or if you still are not ready to give them up, ask your parents if some of them can stay stored in their house. Also, check what are the essential packing materials and get them on time.
And last but not least, make sure to throw a going-away party before your long-distance movers knock on your door. Relocating doesn’t need to be boring cause there are hundreds of fun things to do before a move.
How to Nurture the Chemistry, Respect Your Partner, and Live Together?
The success of joint life will depend on readiness to keep nurturing your love-chemistry, respect your partner’s needs and wishes, and making compromises.
Living together doesn’t mean you need to stop doing the things you loved. Like daydreaming about the best beach cities and life by the sea together or taking some time to be with your own thoughts. The truth is you and your partner both will need some period to adjust to a different lifestyle and realize that communication is a key to better understanding.
Honestly answering all the questions from the list before relocating for a significant other will certainly help you to make the right choice and be sure about it. It will also be very helpful if you speak with your significant other about it because only together can you find the solution.